Tu tene eum procul; Ego curram ob auxilium!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Memories of Youth I

My MBA program was drawing to a close.
I'd studied down an accounting path
for some reason. It seemed clear
at the time. Now, I went out interviewing.
Big Eight accounting firms (that should
date me) was where I spent most of my effort
and was well rewarded.

The most interesting was with Peat Marwick.
I'd talked to a manager or two and a partner
and was waiting outside the office of
another partner for him to get out of
a meeting. A tall, good looking man
came by and asked me what I was doing.
I told him and he said, "I'll talk
with you."

In his office he told me that he was the
partner-in-charge of the audit department.
He began to talk knowingly about my resume.
It wasn't until later that I realized that
this chance interview might not have been
so accidental.

We talked about all of the schools I had
attended, but he never mentioned THE BOB.
I knew enough to know that the Atlanta
office of PMM knew of Bob Jones. Finally,
he did come back to Bob Jones. I smiled.
He said, "I see you're smiling. We've had
good experience hiring folks from Bob Jones,
but sometimes they can't handle the strong
language in the business world. That's why
I used the word 'damn' a couple of times."
I looked at him and said, "I was in a
fraternity at the University of Florida,
Sir." He replied, "Oh...oh, you've heard
it all then?"


Saturday, March 17, 2007


Saw a couple of movies lately:

First, Amazing Grace.
SheWhoMustBeObeyed and I enjoyed this. It presents the story
of how Christians were able to end slavery in
a country without resorting to war. In contrast,
America's abolition movement was headed by unitarians
and cost the lives of tens of thousands. The movie
itself gets a B. The real Wilberforce was too
large of a figure for all but the greatest actors
to capture without going over the top. The guy (Ioan
Gruffudd) who played him did a good job, but didn't quite
get there. Plus, if I remember correctly Wilberforce
was a hunchback of diminutive size. On the other
hand, Albert Finney (John Newton), Michael
Gambon (Lord Fox), Benedict Cumberpatch
(William Pitt), and Jeremy Swift (Richard the
butler) were outstanding. The didn't have the
burden that Gruffudd had to carry, and they
shone. Also, the writers fudged a little on
the history and resolved some things a wee
bit off the historical time line. Oh well,
I'm thankful they were as close as they were.
It was a very enjoyable movie and one I can
recommend very highly.

Second, we rented Stranger than Fiction.
This movie got great reviews from the Biblical
Horizons' (Federal Vision guys) list. I
couldn't imagine I would like it. Will
Ferrell's humor does not appeal to me.
This movie was awesome. Ferrell played
things straight and believable. What I
saw in this movie was whether man will
be happy being a part of God's story or
rebel against it. There are elements
of conversion, redemption, death, and
resurrection throughout this. Please see it,
learn to like fresh baked cookies, and
go play the guitar.


Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Getting a title this way was cheaper than contributing to Tony Blair.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
His Grace Lord Scott the Lush of Leper St George
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I'm Fifty this Year -SheWhoMustBeObeyed Best Not Read This

Dear Diary,

For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear)
purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for
me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college
football team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go
ahead and give it a try. Called the club and made my reservation
with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as
a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing
and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm
to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart
my progress.

MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed,
but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find
Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess --
with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.
Woo Hoo!!!!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the
machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill.
She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed
it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I
enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted
her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring,
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time
she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally
made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back
and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put
weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding
smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a
whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is
by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving
my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I
didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO
in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me,
insisting that my screams bothered other club members.
Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning
and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that
is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the
treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster.
Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to
simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and
enjoy life. She said some other **** too.

THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her
vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips
were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being
a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my
shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells.
When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's
room.. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment,
put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY: I hate that bitch Belinda more than any
human being has ever hated any other human being
in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic
little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body
I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat
her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps
I don't have any triceps. And if you don't want dents
in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#(#&**!!@*@
barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health
and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been
someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir

SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering
machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why
I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me
want to smash the machine with my planner. However,
I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote
and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the
Weather Channel.

SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for
services today so I can go and thank GOD that this
week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife
(the witch), will choose a gift for me that is fun, like
root canal or a vasectomy.